Well, here I am. And I have decided that my life is full of things that interest me. Mainly creative but actually some academic too (would you believe it!).
Ok, so the creative is the first, obviously art, producing art, crafts and also spending hours looking at the stuff too! I love reading, when I give myself the chance. Writing, I would love to be able to write books, of all sorts, mainly fiction, but also based on some personal experiences.
Nail technician course, was what I was thinking of looking at a few months back. Most things course wise I look at and I think that would be lovely to get another string to my bow. Two things spring to mind after looking at these courses - Time and Budget. But I don't get disheartened, I know that one day I might just be able to do some of the courses. Also Mechanics was something I would love to do (yep I do have a boyish side I am afraid!).
I would love to be able to finish off my AAT. I have sat the final year, but due to some other things going on my life, it was difficult to concerntrate so consequently failed the centrals - I will go back and finish them, eventually. As an in the meantime I would quite like to do a book-keeping course (sort of a refresher and layout guide really).
One of my main interests, and has been from the year dot for me is, stationery! Yep, I am a total stationery addict. I went to the beloved PaperChase twice in one week (lucky me!). There is new one just opened up about 20 mins drive away. I feel nervous walking into that shop, because I know that I am going to want much more than I can afford. Whats even worse is that I am a true Libran, so when I see two things, but I only have the pennies for one of them - they make me choose, ahhhhhhh! I managed to walk out with just yet another note book, two pens, an eraser and some funky stickers, phew (sweat on!).
Poetry, I love that too. I have just started trying to write some more, and try and locate my old ones, which I would like to put on here. I got really frustrated earlier as I cannot, for the love of god, find these early poems I wrote - I will keep searching, and hopefully I will find!
Music - all types. I even have a program that I can create tunes - and I did do a few years back, I still have it on disc, and I listened to it the other day (I was actually quite chuffed with that tune). I love listening to music. I would love to carry on learning the clarinet (I have one at home) and also the Violin, my Grandad used to play this and I would love to be able to also.
Hark at me rattle on.... there is much more that interests me, but in the interests of peoples sanity if they are reading this, I better quit whilst I am a head, and also whilst I am still awake (no sleep writing here please Abi!).
So do most people have this continuous problem of them having far to many interests and not enough time? Please share...... perhaps as a nation we work too many hours and forget that we also have lives to enjoy (yep, I said enjoy, who'd have though eh!).
I sign off, with a smile and a wink. :) ;) x
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
Sunday, 1 August 2010
Out of Place
This is just a random post. Does anyone ever feel out of place in certain social gatherings whether its a family do or just friends. I am finding the more and more I go to gatherings, the more and more I feel like I shouldn't be there, like no-one would notice if I wasn't there.
Perhaps my social skills have diminished along the years and people feel I am just too boring to hold a conversation with, like everyone else in the room seems much more appealing to talk to. My opinion doesn't count, or is not really listened to. This post is more of a diary entry can you tell?!
Today I felt awkward, and I shouldn't have, perhaps its just me with too many hormones running round, but today I felt out of place. Today was the day where I just wasn't sure whether I should have been there. To top it all off I got told not to make a fuss when my son fell over and he looked shocked. All I was doing was walking up to check on him. Surely I have the authority to do this as I am his mum, no? who knows, I do know that if you make a huge fuss over children when they bump themselves they can then play on it later down the line, but if I am to brush it under the carpet like it didn't happen then I feel like I am doing only half my job as his mummy.
This brings me deeper into thought that we as human beings try and trivialise and make it seem like it shouldn't be noted that our child may have hurt themselves, are we then training them to grow up thinking that there is no point to opening up and telling someone that they are hurting whether it be physically or mentally? could this be the reason why some people end up struggling with relationships throughout their life? This would be a bigger topic to talk about at another stage perhaps, but please feel free to comment on what you think on the subject, if you so wish to.
The end result of my day is I still feel like an outsider. I still feel awkward, and I still feel like I don't belong. I get that now, I get that I am not to be asked to join in with things as I probably come across as weird. This is not a dig at anyone, this is just how I feel. Perhaps now I have offloaded, I can brush it under the carpet. Sometimes it may just be simpler to stay at home and do my thing, and let the rest of the clicky people do theres!
Not negative, just an obsevation from a person with low confidence. Could I be anymore random..... I think so!
:)
Perhaps my social skills have diminished along the years and people feel I am just too boring to hold a conversation with, like everyone else in the room seems much more appealing to talk to. My opinion doesn't count, or is not really listened to. This post is more of a diary entry can you tell?!
Today I felt awkward, and I shouldn't have, perhaps its just me with too many hormones running round, but today I felt out of place. Today was the day where I just wasn't sure whether I should have been there. To top it all off I got told not to make a fuss when my son fell over and he looked shocked. All I was doing was walking up to check on him. Surely I have the authority to do this as I am his mum, no? who knows, I do know that if you make a huge fuss over children when they bump themselves they can then play on it later down the line, but if I am to brush it under the carpet like it didn't happen then I feel like I am doing only half my job as his mummy.
This brings me deeper into thought that we as human beings try and trivialise and make it seem like it shouldn't be noted that our child may have hurt themselves, are we then training them to grow up thinking that there is no point to opening up and telling someone that they are hurting whether it be physically or mentally? could this be the reason why some people end up struggling with relationships throughout their life? This would be a bigger topic to talk about at another stage perhaps, but please feel free to comment on what you think on the subject, if you so wish to.
The end result of my day is I still feel like an outsider. I still feel awkward, and I still feel like I don't belong. I get that now, I get that I am not to be asked to join in with things as I probably come across as weird. This is not a dig at anyone, this is just how I feel. Perhaps now I have offloaded, I can brush it under the carpet. Sometimes it may just be simpler to stay at home and do my thing, and let the rest of the clicky people do theres!
Not negative, just an obsevation from a person with low confidence. Could I be anymore random..... I think so!
:)
Thursday, 29 July 2010
A mental list....
Evening peeps!
Just why oh why does it get to this time of night, and I start thinking of all the things I would like to do / get done / achieve? Perhaps its the very thought that I will soon be going to bed and will have to start the day's routines off with looking after our nearly 16 month old son? And that the day's chores will start all over again.
This bit does not plague me so, it is a fact of life, you know the housework and looking after a child thing. I guess this is the reason why I get to bed so late, because by the time I have got most things sorted for the very next day, or end of day duties, it's late and the last few nano of today I have enjoyment of what I would like to do (although saying that now, I have just remembered a pan that I need to wash in the kitchen, grr!).
So I start thinking of all the things I would like to be able to fit into my days, and I actually get quite excited at the thought of doing these things. So, I write a mental list, and guess what, it stays there! Just little random thoughts, roaming around aimlessly in my brain, bouncing off the wall in there, not to be completed yet!
I have half finished artwork, and books half read, idea's of things going round in my ever clunking brain, chug chug, chug, clunk, clack! As I sit here and write I started to ponder something... If I were to write down my mental list (and I mean physically write it down) would I then be putting them in the same bracket as chores, which I put off for as long as possible. Would I get more and more disheartened each time I go back to the list, and haven't had the time to complete such items?
The answer is no. Why do we as human beings put such a negative spin on things. Each and every time, I know if I am making decision, I always think of the negative first and not the positive. I then go into the weighing up of the decision, pro's and con's and such like. So just lately, I have been trying to be a bit more light hearted in my approach to even the most every day issues (which includes the fact that I have continued to write this, and not wash up the pan in the kitchen!).
I guess what I am trying to say is, lets try and raise more smiles in our life. Alot of the negative (and even silly) things, we may not even be able to change for the now, so why should it hold us back from cracking open a big grin across the most looked at part of us human beings! Task - try smiling at a few people, not a freak out the person you are smiling at kind of smile, just raise those corners rather than drop them, you may just get a smile back. And if you don't get one back at least you know you have tried :)
Signing off, with a smile (even though the pan is STILL lurking in the kitchen for me). Night peeps. :)
Just why oh why does it get to this time of night, and I start thinking of all the things I would like to do / get done / achieve? Perhaps its the very thought that I will soon be going to bed and will have to start the day's routines off with looking after our nearly 16 month old son? And that the day's chores will start all over again.
This bit does not plague me so, it is a fact of life, you know the housework and looking after a child thing. I guess this is the reason why I get to bed so late, because by the time I have got most things sorted for the very next day, or end of day duties, it's late and the last few nano of today I have enjoyment of what I would like to do (although saying that now, I have just remembered a pan that I need to wash in the kitchen, grr!).
So I start thinking of all the things I would like to be able to fit into my days, and I actually get quite excited at the thought of doing these things. So, I write a mental list, and guess what, it stays there! Just little random thoughts, roaming around aimlessly in my brain, bouncing off the wall in there, not to be completed yet!
I have half finished artwork, and books half read, idea's of things going round in my ever clunking brain, chug chug, chug, clunk, clack! As I sit here and write I started to ponder something... If I were to write down my mental list (and I mean physically write it down) would I then be putting them in the same bracket as chores, which I put off for as long as possible. Would I get more and more disheartened each time I go back to the list, and haven't had the time to complete such items?
The answer is no. Why do we as human beings put such a negative spin on things. Each and every time, I know if I am making decision, I always think of the negative first and not the positive. I then go into the weighing up of the decision, pro's and con's and such like. So just lately, I have been trying to be a bit more light hearted in my approach to even the most every day issues (which includes the fact that I have continued to write this, and not wash up the pan in the kitchen!).
I guess what I am trying to say is, lets try and raise more smiles in our life. Alot of the negative (and even silly) things, we may not even be able to change for the now, so why should it hold us back from cracking open a big grin across the most looked at part of us human beings! Task - try smiling at a few people, not a freak out the person you are smiling at kind of smile, just raise those corners rather than drop them, you may just get a smile back. And if you don't get one back at least you know you have tried :)
Signing off, with a smile (even though the pan is STILL lurking in the kitchen for me). Night peeps. :)
Monday, 26 July 2010
Monday, 19 July 2010
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome...
The title suggests two things, welcome to anyone reading, and also welcoming myself to blogging! It will, I have no doubt, take me a little while to grasp blogging, and layouts, gadgets and so on and so fourth, but I will get there in the end, so bear with me :)
It is indeed rather late now, and soon off to bedski I go. Would just like to say thank you to my Mummi and my bestest, G, for introducing me to this new fandangled item in my life!
Hopefully, my page should get more interesting as I go along. Big Smiles and even bigger yawns. Nighty Night peeps.
It is indeed rather late now, and soon off to bedski I go. Would just like to say thank you to my Mummi and my bestest, G, for introducing me to this new fandangled item in my life!
Hopefully, my page should get more interesting as I go along. Big Smiles and even bigger yawns. Nighty Night peeps.
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