This is just a random post. Does anyone ever feel out of place in certain social gatherings whether its a family do or just friends. I am finding the more and more I go to gatherings, the more and more I feel like I shouldn't be there, like no-one would notice if I wasn't there.
Perhaps my social skills have diminished along the years and people feel I am just too boring to hold a conversation with, like everyone else in the room seems much more appealing to talk to. My opinion doesn't count, or is not really listened to. This post is more of a diary entry can you tell?!
Today I felt awkward, and I shouldn't have, perhaps its just me with too many hormones running round, but today I felt out of place. Today was the day where I just wasn't sure whether I should have been there. To top it all off I got told not to make a fuss when my son fell over and he looked shocked. All I was doing was walking up to check on him. Surely I have the authority to do this as I am his mum, no? who knows, I do know that if you make a huge fuss over children when they bump themselves they can then play on it later down the line, but if I am to brush it under the carpet like it didn't happen then I feel like I am doing only half my job as his mummy.
This brings me deeper into thought that we as human beings try and trivialise and make it seem like it shouldn't be noted that our child may have hurt themselves, are we then training them to grow up thinking that there is no point to opening up and telling someone that they are hurting whether it be physically or mentally? could this be the reason why some people end up struggling with relationships throughout their life? This would be a bigger topic to talk about at another stage perhaps, but please feel free to comment on what you think on the subject, if you so wish to.
The end result of my day is I still feel like an outsider. I still feel awkward, and I still feel like I don't belong. I get that now, I get that I am not to be asked to join in with things as I probably come across as weird. This is not a dig at anyone, this is just how I feel. Perhaps now I have offloaded, I can brush it under the carpet. Sometimes it may just be simpler to stay at home and do my thing, and let the rest of the clicky people do theres!
Not negative, just an obsevation from a person with low confidence. Could I be anymore random..... I think so!