Sunday, 1 August 2010

Out of Place

This is just a random post. Does anyone ever feel out of place in certain social gatherings whether its a family do or just friends. I am finding the more and more I go to gatherings, the more and more I feel like I shouldn't be there, like no-one would notice if I wasn't there.

Perhaps my social skills have diminished along the years and people feel I am just too boring to hold a conversation with, like everyone else in the room seems much more appealing to talk to. My opinion doesn't count, or is not really listened to. This post is more of a diary entry can you tell?!

Today I felt awkward, and I shouldn't have, perhaps its just me with too many hormones running round, but today I felt out of place. Today was the day where I just wasn't sure whether I should have been there. To top it all off I got told not to make a fuss when my son fell over and he looked shocked. All I was doing was walking up to check on him. Surely I have the authority to do this as I am his mum, no? who knows, I do know that if you make a huge fuss over children when they bump themselves they can then play on it later down the line, but if I am to brush it under the carpet like it didn't happen then I feel like I am doing only half my job as his mummy.

This brings me deeper into thought that we as human beings try and trivialise and make it seem like it shouldn't be noted that our child may have hurt themselves, are we then training them to grow up thinking that there is no point to opening up and telling someone that they are hurting whether it be physically or mentally? could this be the reason why some people end up struggling with relationships throughout their life? This would be a bigger topic to talk about at another stage perhaps, but please feel free to comment on what you think on the subject, if you so wish to.

The end result of my day is I still feel like an outsider. I still feel awkward, and I still feel like I don't belong. I get that now, I get that I am not to be asked to join in with things as I probably come across as weird. This is not a dig at anyone, this is just how I feel. Perhaps now I have offloaded, I can brush it under the carpet. Sometimes it may just be simpler to stay at home and do my thing, and let the rest of the clicky people do theres!

Not negative, just an obsevation  from a person with low confidence. Could I be anymore random..... I think so!



  1. Hey, I hope I didn't make you feel like that? did I? please tell me if I did so I don't do it again. I came and talked to you, I enjoy talking to you, in fact I feel we have quite alot in common, as we both have creative minds! (which is why I think we end up feeling like this sometimes!!!) oh and also both have a stationary fetish!! lol.

    I can relate to what you say though, as also I feel very uncomfortble and often work myself up before an event with worries that I won't know what to talk about and the person will think I'm totally boring!

    In fact latley I feel very different from my fiends, epically as I'm being more true to myself and have started telling people what I really like doing (instead of hiding it) and they look at me like I'm an alien and the conversation stops dead. I've spent a lot of time pretending to be someone I'm not and it does not make you any happier in fact the oppersite, it's only since I've been with Gary that I have very slowly (as it has been nearly 5 years already)started being myself again. But even last night I told a family member of my 'now known' hobby and they just went "oh" and that killed the conversation, as if it's the weidest thing to do and a total freak for doing it!! which makes me feel embarresed and want to hide it again, but why should I?????

    Sorry I am rambling now. What I'm trying to say is that you are a fantastic person and you should be proud of who you are.

    I think in this day and age everyone picks at things and like to find faults in people and situations, but unfortunatley it happens to everyone and everywhere (I think Big Brother has a lot to answer for, for this one) but the key is to tune out and be igronant to it all. Smile, and hold your head up knowing you are the happy with the person that you are.

    I hope you listen to this and don't let people get you down. But it's definatley good to get things out and off your mind. see you soon and don' forget to smile. :-)

  2. Hiya Hun - don't worry, you didn't ramble - but I prob will!

    No, totally not you at all that made me feel that way! I too feel we have a lot in common, what with the creative side and of course the stationery, who could forget that! Actually I often come away from things like that talking to Andy about our convo's.

    I guess I felt that way yesterday because I have never been the sort of person that likes to be in the limelight, but I am a person that like to have a good old natter, and perhaps I am just having difficulty in striking the right balance. Like I said before I have never been part of a big family so get quite overwhelmed by it all.

    It's strange when you explain to people your likes and dislikes, and items like writing, artwork, craftwork, reading and all things creative creep into the convo and it stops most people in their tracks. I think its that people just don't see those things as a reasonable things to do whether it be a career or a hobbie. Amazingly these are the people that will quite happily spend alot of their time watching tv, film, play games, well someone creative had to sit down and write these in the first place!!

    People can be quite narrow minded when it comes to this subject. Do continue to be true to yourself, you are finding your niche, and it is what makes you happy, and you are good at it. Regardless of if you get an "oh" when you tell people what you like to do, take your own advice and plead ignorance to their comments and please please please don't hide it again, you shouldn't have to do this. I am in total support of you doing the creative thing, for sure! Even if I was not a creative type I would still say the same thing to you. One day instead of an "oh" you will get a "oh wow" and I am definately one of the people that say that now about you choosing to be yourself :D

    I have to say a massive thanks, when I read your comment you made me find my smile again. Such a supportive type you are. Wonderful. And may I just say I am quite looking forward to your next blog to read. I wait in anticipation and send a smile right back at ya. :D xxx

  3. Hey Hun. Turn that frown upside down!!! :) I love you for who you are and I always will. I think you are great and should definately not feel singled out. You are fab at making making conversation and are always fun to be around. You are intriguing. I hope you aren't feeling down as it's horrible feeling like that.
    Lots of love xxx
    And bloggers unite lol. We should start a revolution lol xxx

  4. Hey you.

    Bless you honey and your kind words. This makes me smile (and somewhat miss you too!).Right back at ya! I love your poem by the way.

    Us bloogers unite and the revolution starts here!!


  5. Oi! You ladies :) Let no one make you feel that way again. A very good friend Deb Dobson who lives in Kansas and I were talking only the other evening about this way that some people are with others. You know what? Deb's opinion was right, here it is: When you sound like you are confident and good at something, some people feel intimidated or uncomfortable with that, and they react in many different ways. Some almost ignore you or seem un-enthusiastic, some can get quite aloof in another area that they fit better into and one that excludes you.

    Here's the thing. If they are a good friend, they will try to show interest and be supportive of you, *even* if they don't understand or agree with what you do...

    If they don't ~ IT'S NOT YOU ~ it's ok for people to be indifferent, as long as they don't force what they believe, onto you.

    Right ladies... there are three of you here, who are smart enough to put fingers to keyboards and find your way down lieracy street. That tells me there are three of you doing something that others can't (or won't) do. HurrAH! :) Keep writing girlies xxx

    abzicality ~ you are babies mummi, you are the 2 who know what is best, the umbilical cord said so ;)

  6. Too true Whimsical too true. Thank you for the support. :) C'mon ladies lets give those fingers to keyboards a workout huh, this includes you my mummi. I love you.


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